Long Time No Blog

Yea, I was soooooo busy .......... too busy to keep up with the blog

JOb, Study, Life, Volunteering....... too much to do

What trigger me to write blog today?
Well well, is .... I WANT LOVE.....
Yea, love from people that I love, not the people that I like, but not love...

For this long time that I haven't blog, I twisted my thinking... about LOVE... and about him...really...

It is too hard to love someone... too tired to love someone. ... . yea... too much burden. First, I have to define my Rule of love... I love a person, I give up things for him for his good. Of course, I am looking forward him to love me in the same way... but it is not always the case. As I met more people, and interact with them, I realize VALUES are vary among people, even they are from the same culture and similar background. That drives the inconsistence between two people in the relationship; One side might think certain things are good for the other one while the other one is enduring the pressure... until it spurse out... and "ByE ByE".

As the conclusion from the above thinking, perhaps I shouldn't be in relationship because I am pushiessss... and I like to be aggressive all the time. It would be great if my partner would push me... that's why I favor "Smart" guys cos I would imagine them will push me to a higher level... But I am sure... sometime too hard drive the other people and myself crazy. Yea....SO CRAZY...

To my story though, I Like him, he should have know. . . and. . . seems like he loses his interest towards me... or he knows that I am serious, that's why he doesn't want to mess around with me anymore... don't want to get himself trouble? Poor me... ... all I want is love. Why is it that hard to get any? or my requirements set too high? or I have problem? I really can't figure out... wish someone would help, really. Well, well, Let things go when is time to, pushing too hard would hurt myself and others... Yea... trying to let it go... let it go... As long as, he is happy.

Even greater thought is... if fate arrage us to be with someone, then it will happen. If it hasn't happen, it just not the time yet. So, if I should have relationship with him, we will be together. If not, no matter how hard I push, it wouldn't happen. So, I should put myself in the bad situation, which my mood goes with his behavior, up, down, down and up, I should let it be natural... things will come when it is time... trust me.